The Ordinary Power of Who You Are: Delights of the Ordinary No. 30
I nudge you to still believe in waking up to the corridors of flowers and warming rays of the sun when we all are gripped with the ultra-concrete ways of defining a successful life.
“And they made good laws and kept the peace and saved good trees from being unnecessarily cut down, liberated young…, and generally stopped busybodies and interferes and encouraged ordinary people who wanted to live and let live… So they live in great joy and if ever they remembered their life in the world it was only as one remembers a dream.”
- The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis
We live between neutrons and galaxies. From the tiniest scale to the largest. Staying on our big blue blob and also sipping coffee from our tiny 4X4 rooms. And in between this span of scale is our here and now.
Our Today.
Our Ordinary - that liminal space which makes you and me prosaic in this enormous world and yet so amazing that every little action of ours has such vital impact and the force to create ripples (of a good kind if you choose right).
We can’t miss the massive trajectory that can be formed by our simple warmth beamed over others and our ordinary actions that can build someone when they are nothing but broken shards. This potency of subtle acts can make an immense difference in our lives.
Nick Cave, an Australian singer, writer and actor, began writing letters to his fans, some of whom shared their grief with him. This ritual came about after he lost Arthur, his 15-year-old son in an accident and was midway through making sense with grief.
In such a correspondence, Nick wrote to Francis, replying,
“Francis, rather than feel impotent and useless, you must come to terms with the fact that as a human being you are infinitely powerful, and take responsibility for this tremendous power. Even our smallest actions have potential for great change, positively or negatively, and the way in which we all conduct ourselves within the world means something. You are anything but impotent, you are, in fact, exquisitely and frighteningly dynamic, as are we all, and with all respect you have an obligation to stand up and take responsibility for that potential. It is your most ordinary and urgent duty.”
He wrote more,
“The everyday human gesture is always a heartbeat away from the miraculous — that ultimately we make things happen through our actions, way beyond our understanding or intention; that our seemingly small ordinary human acts have untold consequences; that what we do in this world means something; that we are not nothing; and that our most quotidian human actions… spill meaningfully and radically through time and space, changing everything… Our deeds, no matter how insignificant they may feel, are replete with meaning, and of vast consequence, and that they constantly impact upon the unfolding story of the world, whether we know it or not.”
And so from life to death, from atoms to galaxies, from dreaming a good life to running the hamster wheel of success there is also here and now which can constantly impact the way the world starts switching gears or functioning differently.
In Delhi, there is this large, very quiet and very green residential block for Army personnel. One of our folks lived there for a while and we visited often. I went to their place almost over a month after my mom died. It was my first public gathering. Among the guests was also a family member whom I really liked. Still do. We greeted as usual in a typical Delhi-esque mannerism of noisy hugging and rackety, deafening shouts of hellos. These are our ordinary. The basic cultural acknowledgement of arrivals. Nothing out of place! But once the party was picking momentum and I was putting up a decent show outwardly, she (whom I really like) came and drew me into a side embrace, softly asked, “How are you?” She gently patted and eased me into the margins of that celebration. This was intentional. Amidst the celebratory music, her three words and a side hug were the subtlest and the simplest act of compassion.
This is the ordinary I am talking about. The ordinary, simplistic, non-ordained words, language and actions that can set another person free in someplace. That is one of the ordinary powers of who we are.
Something that long-held words can’t accomplish, a nonverbal language can do wonders for your already aching soul. She didn’t know what she had done at that very moment to me - she remembered my pain amidst the celebrations and for that I will always be grateful.
“Human beings are remarkable, really. Such nuanced, subtle creatures.”
The Identity: The Ordinary Power of You
In general, we all suffer from flawed identities. We all are one-part heroes and two-part villains. A hero is swallowed by desire and a villain has a heart too. To have an “identity crisis” is to become unsure of what my most characteristic properties are—of what sort of person I am in some deep and fundamental sense.
So, it is not a great idea to say we just need to be ourselves and run the race world dictates. What would be a great idea is to comprehend :
What my heart is beating towards?
On what side of life we are lusting for or redeeming ourselves into?
What moral grounds and what virtues?
Because success without virtues will never help you to handle life in the long run. You will be smothered into a ruthless-heartless-somebody and find yourself hurting a lot of people and yourself in return. E.B. White, the famous writer wrote this letter to Mr. Nadeau on March 30, 1973, when he was 74.
Dear Mr. Nadeau:
As long as there is one upright man, as long as there is one compassionate woman, the contagion may spread and the scene is not desolate. Hope is the thing that is left to us, in a bad time. I shall get up Sunday morning and wind the clock, as a contribution to order and steadfastness… It is quite obvious that the human race has made a queer mess of life on this planet. But as a people we probably harbor seeds of goodness that have lain for a long time waiting to sprout when the conditions are right. Man’s curiosity, his relentlessness, his inventiveness, his ingenuity have led him into deep trouble. We can only hope that these same traits will enable him to claw his way out.
Hang on to your hat. Hang on to your hope. And wind the clock, for tomorrow is another day.
Sincerely,
E. B. White
And onwards to the recommendations for this week as your online curator:
To Scroll: Japanese artist, Akie Nakata makes stones and rocks into cute animal paintings that you can hold in the palm of your hand. She says, “To me, completing a piece of work is not about how much detail I draw, but whether I feel the life in the stone.” Click here to scroll through her creation.
To End in Fun: American artists Sol LeWitt and Eva Hesse met and became best buddies. When Eva was facing a creative block she wrote to Sol and Sol wrote back to her. The excerpt.
Dear Eva,
…Just stop thinking, worrying, looking over your shoulder, wondering, doubting, fearing, hurting, hoping for some easy way out, struggling, grasping, confusing, itching, scratching, mumbling, bumbling, grumbling, humbling, stumbling, numbling, rambling, gambling, tumbling, scumbling, scrambling, hitching, hatching, bitching, moaning, groaning, honing, boning, horse-shitting, hair-splitting, nit-picking…, nose sticking…, eyeball-poking, finger-pointing, alleyway-sneaking, long waiting, small stepping, evil-eyeing, back-scratching, searching, perching, besmirching, grinding, grinding, grinding away at yourself. Stop it and just
DO…
I wish you immense strength to make good choices and keep the light on.
- Anugrah
Delights of the Ordinary started somewhere in April of twenty-twenty-three with just two readers and now has a readership of 100+ of you. I am highly grateful for the time and room that you give me in your heart.
Delights of the Ordinary is currently a free publication. Yet it takes me many hours of effort to write and curate it. I may need lots of coffee to keep me going. You can :)
Stumbled on my publication? Explore all my previous editions here. And in case you don’t wish to spend time browsing then complement this post with 'Tis the Season of Simple Smiles and Simple Joys along with The Fikka, Hygge and Shinrin Yoku of Slowing Down, How to Turn Your Internal Blah-Blah into Creative Reflection or read about Gratitude In Our Ordinaries. And don’t forget to